I hope mine doesn't look like that
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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