i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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