I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
