If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
