i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
