Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize