I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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