I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
