it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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