I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
