I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
