I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
All I want is dick and wine.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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