Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
