it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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