clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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