can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
it was like eating out sand paper
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
