and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
