Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
