I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
