You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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