My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
