Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
In America we eat man semen.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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