dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
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