I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
