So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
