Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
