I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
