So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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