I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
