we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
