so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
