ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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