she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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