It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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