i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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