Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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