Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
