I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
there is puke in my bra ... again
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