I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm too high and old for this...
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