She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
