Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
