if only i could text you this smell
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
