nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
