I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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