u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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