Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
