guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
