It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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