I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
