I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
