You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
