I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
