You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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