I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize