thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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