Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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