The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
