we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
