We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
