is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
