Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
