Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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