I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
