pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Don't EVER smell your tampon
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
