call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i out mim tonsoeep
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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