Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
