I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
